As I've learned over the years in New York City, life continues at the same breakneck speed, no matter what you happen to be experiencing on any given day. Trust me, I'm aware that NYC is not the only place where life does not seem to allow time or opportunity to process big changes, but the constant claustrophobia and lack of privacy make it a little harder.
On January 25th, 2013, my dear sweet friend Miguel received relief from his struggle with cancer as he made his way to Our Heavenly Father. His peace and faith for the last year of his life gives me comfort knowing that he recognized his gift of life & tried to share that with as many people as he could. I remember receiving many random texts from him with a word of encouragement or love. So much love...
His passing comes in the midst of a performance run of Shakespeare's "Measure for Measure" which I'm playing the bawd, Pompey, the comedic relief in the show. I mean, cause Shakespeare isn't difficult enough! I can safely say this has been the greatest challenge in my performing life! I find myself in a different emotional place before each show & entering the world of Shakespeare has provided some respite from the hurting, but also an opportunity to express what I cannot in my own.
My cast, director & stage manager have been my legs when I cannot stand, my lungs when I cannot breathe & my smile when I cannot stop crying. Christopher, Far, Chris, Melissa, Neil, Tawney, Talieson, Lydia, Tania, Faith, Wilton, John, Emily, Lily, Mike, & Faith-- I have to write these names because they held me in their hearts. Saying 'thank you' will merely scratch the surface of the depth of gratitude I feel towards each of them. As one of my cast mates shared with me, theatre heals on both sides of the curtain. Truer words were never spoken!
The week before we opened I jokingly told Miguel that I'd tape the show, since he wouldn't be able to leave the hospital to come see it. Now I know he's watching each night, just shaking his head and laughing, "Oh Babyface". How I miss his laugh!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Hope Restored
To say the weeks following Hurricane Sandy have been an adjustment is a vast understatement. One feels guilty for having lost nothing & rejoining "normal" society at the NY pace. Today concluded with the most beautiful gift from the heart of a couple of a-ma-zing human beings!
Since my last post when I was at my wits end, I almost immediately encountered the most gracious and grateful couple who began my restoration in the belief of good in people of New York City. Slowly but surely I've come across more good than bad, so once again I believe that not everyone is evil.
As many of you may know, I put out the word regarding one of my friends who had lost everything. Now, I know there are big hearts in Texas (and elsewhere) who love to show love, so I sent a dreaded email blast. It was not self-promoting and had no information in regards to upcoming shows/films I'm working on, so I did not mind sending it to... everyone I knew! The response overwhelms & I know there are people giving that I don't even know about and probably never will! But tonight, I returned home from an impromptu solo trip to the theatre (for free) and found a handwritten note from my two favorite Phillies. I was overcome with gratitude & humility and fell to my knees in tears. Its such a clear picture of love and I feel so blessed to be witness to what we're capable of in terms of selflessness! Thank you Zoe & Chance!
Since my last post when I was at my wits end, I almost immediately encountered the most gracious and grateful couple who began my restoration in the belief of good in people of New York City. Slowly but surely I've come across more good than bad, so once again I believe that not everyone is evil.
As many of you may know, I put out the word regarding one of my friends who had lost everything. Now, I know there are big hearts in Texas (and elsewhere) who love to show love, so I sent a dreaded email blast. It was not self-promoting and had no information in regards to upcoming shows/films I'm working on, so I did not mind sending it to... everyone I knew! The response overwhelms & I know there are people giving that I don't even know about and probably never will! But tonight, I returned home from an impromptu solo trip to the theatre (for free) and found a handwritten note from my two favorite Phillies. I was overcome with gratitude & humility and fell to my knees in tears. Its such a clear picture of love and I feel so blessed to be witness to what we're capable of in terms of selflessness! Thank you Zoe & Chance!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
PERSPECTIVE!!!
This is a rant, but I truly cannot contain my heartache right now!
I've promised a post regarding my adventures during the week of Hurricane Sandy, and it will come, but first I must address the way people have been behaving post-Sandy.
NYC can be an extremely generous and forgiving and intimate place, but selfishness dominates this City! Stories absolutely exist of people raising support for those who've lost everything, people have taken car loads of supplies to the needy, spent their weekends traveling out to Rockaway, Staten Island & NJ to lend a hand and a smile.
I AM TRAPPED in Manhattan with the miserable, selfish, ungrateful, self-pitying rich who do not care beyond their trivial needs! The details that have spawned this rant are not as important as the powerless I feel to change it! Tomorrow I will return to work & most likely be screamed at for a very simple and (in global perspective) small miscommunication. What will I do? Apologize (which will go unheard), grovel (because i work in customer service) & wonder how long I can remain polite and civil without rolling my eyes and walking away.
People that I know lost absolutely everything two weeks ago! Some people lost their lives or loved ones. Our City is still not completely repaired! Can we please remember that?!?
I've promised a post regarding my adventures during the week of Hurricane Sandy, and it will come, but first I must address the way people have been behaving post-Sandy.
NYC can be an extremely generous and forgiving and intimate place, but selfishness dominates this City! Stories absolutely exist of people raising support for those who've lost everything, people have taken car loads of supplies to the needy, spent their weekends traveling out to Rockaway, Staten Island & NJ to lend a hand and a smile.
I AM TRAPPED in Manhattan with the miserable, selfish, ungrateful, self-pitying rich who do not care beyond their trivial needs! The details that have spawned this rant are not as important as the powerless I feel to change it! Tomorrow I will return to work & most likely be screamed at for a very simple and (in global perspective) small miscommunication. What will I do? Apologize (which will go unheard), grovel (because i work in customer service) & wonder how long I can remain polite and civil without rolling my eyes and walking away.
People that I know lost absolutely everything two weeks ago! Some people lost their lives or loved ones. Our City is still not completely repaired! Can we please remember that?!?
Thursday, September 6, 2012
9/11 Memorial
So we're fast approaching the 11th anniversary of September 11th and it falls on a Tuesday, again. The memorial to the fallen victims opened last year on the 10th anniversary. The site is only 10 blocks from where I work and yet I continually postponed visiting the site. My mom & sister recently visited from Texas and we decided we'd go out.
The day's weather threatened rain with thick humidity and a few light sprinkles dropped on us as we entered. The entrance lies among a construction site of the new building going up around the area. It will be another several years before the area is clear of construction equipment. Much like the airport, metal detectors and watchful eyes guide you through like cattle. More foreigners than American crammed through the passageways and slowly shuffle through the covered chain link fence that lead to the memorial.
Once inside the memorial, there is a stillness that sets in. Beautifully landscaped, the area allows the space & privacy to experience whatever feelings and emotions you encounter. Each "footprint" of the two towers are lined with the names of the victims from that day. I cannot describe what I felt walking around each pool, but one thing that did stir in me was my identity as a New Yorker. I've no idea what that even means or what qualifies a statement like that, but it almost seemed like the laps around those two "footprints" allowed my love for this City deeper roots.
This tragedy happened one month after I'd visited NYC for the first time as a graduation gift with my mom. I stood at the top of one of the towers in August of 2001 and watched them fall on TV a month later. Everyone should try to get up to visit this memorial. 9/11 affected the whole country, no matter where you physically were when it happened. It's a touching reminder of our vulnerability but also our spirit of unity.
The day's weather threatened rain with thick humidity and a few light sprinkles dropped on us as we entered. The entrance lies among a construction site of the new building going up around the area. It will be another several years before the area is clear of construction equipment. Much like the airport, metal detectors and watchful eyes guide you through like cattle. More foreigners than American crammed through the passageways and slowly shuffle through the covered chain link fence that lead to the memorial.
Once inside the memorial, there is a stillness that sets in. Beautifully landscaped, the area allows the space & privacy to experience whatever feelings and emotions you encounter. Each "footprint" of the two towers are lined with the names of the victims from that day. I cannot describe what I felt walking around each pool, but one thing that did stir in me was my identity as a New Yorker. I've no idea what that even means or what qualifies a statement like that, but it almost seemed like the laps around those two "footprints" allowed my love for this City deeper roots.
This tragedy happened one month after I'd visited NYC for the first time as a graduation gift with my mom. I stood at the top of one of the towers in August of 2001 and watched them fall on TV a month later. Everyone should try to get up to visit this memorial. 9/11 affected the whole country, no matter where you physically were when it happened. It's a touching reminder of our vulnerability but also our spirit of unity.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
UNCLE VANYA
"Which is better?" I am asked. "Absolutely incomparable. Totally different and each one wonderful." I reply.
Sydney Theatre Company & SoHo Rep. staged Chekov's "Uncle Vanya" (you can Wikipedia the play here). It was a Cate Blanchett sandwich with Michael Shannon in the middle. With each performance I found myself so much closer to this story, literally. First performance was at NY City Center in the last row of the Orchestra right next to the sound booth. Second show in an incredibly intimate space seating maybe 60 people and the audience sat around the performers. The final performance, I returned to NY City Center in the 2nd row, Center Orchestra.
I knew nothing of the play going in to show #1, which is such a fun way to see a performance. You get so caught up in the story with the actors. It's tragic, but they do it so hilariously. You laugh and then realize what you're laughing at and begin to tear up. Ben Brantley's review in the Times puts it pretty well...
"Are these bleak portraits of hope-starved lives meant to be farce or tragedy? Mr. Ascher’s version says, as persuasively and organically as any production I know, that the answer is both. Life is a tragedy because it’s so farcical. And like many of the characters onstage you may find yourself making noises that could mean you are laughing or crying. And you realize just how fine a line there is between the responses."
There is a reason that man is the top theatre critic and I am not... eloquence.
Anyway, the second show was an adaptation by Annie Baker starring Michael Shannon as the doctor. I heard the words of this play so much more clearly. Not that the Sydney Company was difficult to hear or understand, but the stillness and pace of this show crystallized the text so beautifully. At the time, I remember a few key discrepancies in the adaptations with the dialogue that changed a few moments. I'd love to read each play side-by-side to compare the two.
The final performance from second row center orchestra felt like flying. My friend described the feeling after as though we'd had a massage. I LOVE sitting as close as possible and getting to watch the actor's eyes. I read a review saying, "(this show) is like watching 6 prize fighters duke it out on stage". So true! Absolutely stellar performances from every single person that stepped on that stage. Of course, Cate Blanchett was luminous and hard to look away from except that each character was so watchable, you're drawn to them as well. I'm still high from the show, so I have no words of criticism at this moment. If I come up with something, I probably won't add it. This was written in pure bliss!
Sydney Theatre Company & SoHo Rep. staged Chekov's "Uncle Vanya" (you can Wikipedia the play here). It was a Cate Blanchett sandwich with Michael Shannon in the middle. With each performance I found myself so much closer to this story, literally. First performance was at NY City Center in the last row of the Orchestra right next to the sound booth. Second show in an incredibly intimate space seating maybe 60 people and the audience sat around the performers. The final performance, I returned to NY City Center in the 2nd row, Center Orchestra.
I knew nothing of the play going in to show #1, which is such a fun way to see a performance. You get so caught up in the story with the actors. It's tragic, but they do it so hilariously. You laugh and then realize what you're laughing at and begin to tear up. Ben Brantley's review in the Times puts it pretty well...
"Are these bleak portraits of hope-starved lives meant to be farce or tragedy? Mr. Ascher’s version says, as persuasively and organically as any production I know, that the answer is both. Life is a tragedy because it’s so farcical. And like many of the characters onstage you may find yourself making noises that could mean you are laughing or crying. And you realize just how fine a line there is between the responses."
There is a reason that man is the top theatre critic and I am not... eloquence.
Anyway, the second show was an adaptation by Annie Baker starring Michael Shannon as the doctor. I heard the words of this play so much more clearly. Not that the Sydney Company was difficult to hear or understand, but the stillness and pace of this show crystallized the text so beautifully. At the time, I remember a few key discrepancies in the adaptations with the dialogue that changed a few moments. I'd love to read each play side-by-side to compare the two.
The final performance from second row center orchestra felt like flying. My friend described the feeling after as though we'd had a massage. I LOVE sitting as close as possible and getting to watch the actor's eyes. I read a review saying, "(this show) is like watching 6 prize fighters duke it out on stage". So true! Absolutely stellar performances from every single person that stepped on that stage. Of course, Cate Blanchett was luminous and hard to look away from except that each character was so watchable, you're drawn to them as well. I'm still high from the show, so I have no words of criticism at this moment. If I come up with something, I probably won't add it. This was written in pure bliss!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
End of the Rainbow
Tracey Bennett... there are not enough adjectives to describe this performance. The Judy Garland I know is Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz". And the writer's were counting on that being the case with most people because they save "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" as the closing song.
I was flooded with memories of watching that movie as a young girl at my Grandmother's house and before I knew it, tears poured and I didn't care to wipe them away. Throughout the duration of the iconic song, my mind was flooded with sweet memories that spilled down my cheeks.
The slow moving show had little action with decent supporting characters, but she could've been on stage alone and I'd have stayed the full 2 1/2 hours! Not to say anything against the rest of the cast, because a leading lady stands taller by those who lift her up, but it was her show!
I'm so so grateful that whenever I'm feeling low, uninspired, defeated... I can grab a $30 ticket to another world that brings me back to what I love! Cheesy? Yes, but go see some theatre and you'll know what I'm talking about!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Shakespeare vs. Shakespeare
This past weekend afforded me a rare, but wonderful, opportunity of viewing Shakespeare back-to-back but in extremely contrasting performances. Saturday night: Sleep No More --an adaptation of Macbeth. Sunday night: As You Like It in Central Park.
Could not be more different.
Sleep No More is held at the McKittrick Hotel, whose entrance blends the feel of Universal Studios Tower of Terror with Disney Worlds Haunted Mansion. It's eerie and sets the tone immediately. I won't go into detail of the experience b/c its truly unique and will never be repeated because of the nature of the piece, which is both exciting and frustrating. The players are in motion moving between the 4-5 floors (I'm truly not sure how many stories this things covered), thru smoke-filled rooms staged as woods, graveyards, apothecary, bedroom, banquet hall. You can follow one actor, move throughout the space freely catching different scenes sporadically, all the while wearing masks! Very strange but wonderful. My main complaint is that due to the nature of the piece and that upon each viewing the experience changes, one would want to attend multiple times HOWEVER the price has soared to $95 per ticket! No discount opportunity exists, so multiple viewings is out of the question. Very upsetting!
As You Like It in Central Park's Delacorte Theatre is, of course, FREE!!! Tickets randomly bestowed upon a friend by a stranger on the street (I heart NY) allowed me a second chance to see this play in one week! Sitting on the opposite side of the theatre from my first experience, I caught different expressions from the actors, who have settled into their characters and are just flying! Its such a magical, beautiful way to enjoy the genius of Shakespeare! To play that stage would be pure joy (even if its one of the tragedies)!
Summer & Shakespeare go together like peas & carrots!
Could not be more different.
Sleep No More is held at the McKittrick Hotel, whose entrance blends the feel of Universal Studios Tower of Terror with Disney Worlds Haunted Mansion. It's eerie and sets the tone immediately. I won't go into detail of the experience b/c its truly unique and will never be repeated because of the nature of the piece, which is both exciting and frustrating. The players are in motion moving between the 4-5 floors (I'm truly not sure how many stories this things covered), thru smoke-filled rooms staged as woods, graveyards, apothecary, bedroom, banquet hall. You can follow one actor, move throughout the space freely catching different scenes sporadically, all the while wearing masks! Very strange but wonderful. My main complaint is that due to the nature of the piece and that upon each viewing the experience changes, one would want to attend multiple times HOWEVER the price has soared to $95 per ticket! No discount opportunity exists, so multiple viewings is out of the question. Very upsetting!
As You Like It in Central Park's Delacorte Theatre is, of course, FREE!!! Tickets randomly bestowed upon a friend by a stranger on the street (I heart NY) allowed me a second chance to see this play in one week! Sitting on the opposite side of the theatre from my first experience, I caught different expressions from the actors, who have settled into their characters and are just flying! Its such a magical, beautiful way to enjoy the genius of Shakespeare! To play that stage would be pure joy (even if its one of the tragedies)!
Summer & Shakespeare go together like peas & carrots!
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