Loss

As I've learned over the years in New York City, life continues at the same breakneck speed, no matter what you happen to be experiencing on any given day. Trust me, I'm aware that NYC is not the only place where life does not seem to allow time or opportunity to process big changes, but the constant claustrophobia and lack of privacy make it a little harder.

On January 25th, 2013, my dear sweet friend Miguel received relief from his struggle with cancer as he made his way to Our Heavenly Father. His peace and faith for the last year of his life gives me comfort knowing that he recognized his gift of life & tried to share that with as many people as he could. I remember receiving many random texts from him with a word of encouragement or love. So much love...

His passing comes in the midst of a performance run of Shakespeare's "Measure for Measure" which I'm playing the bawd, Pompey, the comedic relief in the show. I mean, cause Shakespeare isn't difficult enough! I can safely say this has been the greatest challenge in my performing life! I find myself in a different emotional place before each show & entering the world of Shakespeare has provided some respite from the hurting, but also an opportunity to express what I cannot in my own.

My cast, director & stage manager have been my legs when I cannot stand, my lungs when I cannot breathe & my smile when I cannot stop crying. Christopher, Far, Chris, Melissa, Neil, Tawney, Talieson, Lydia, Tania, Faith, Wilton, John, Emily, Lily, Mike, & Faith-- I have to write these names because they held me in their hearts. Saying 'thank you' will merely scratch the surface of the depth of gratitude I feel towards each of them. As one of my cast mates shared with me, theatre heals on both sides of the curtain. Truer words were never spoken! 

The week before we opened I jokingly told Miguel that I'd tape the show, since he wouldn't be able to leave the hospital to come see it. Now I know he's watching each night, just shaking his head and laughing, "Oh Babyface". How I miss his laugh!