May 31st

Today, I'm asking for guidance. I don't know where to go next. I don't like where I am now. I did not move to NYC to be a concierge, and right now that is all I am. Not OK. However, I do feel at a loss to change my current circumstance. My most recent attempt ended disappointingly and I'm afraid of what that means. I do not want part of my dream. I want all of my dream or none of my dream. This in between is slowly killing me. I'm not usually unhappy, but I find myself profoundly sad. One can only endure rejection for so long before it truly eats away. I continue to give myself pep talks and focus on the beautiful people in my life that give it meaning. I acknowledge there are ups and downs to life and when I signed on to life in Manhattan I was giving away the security of a clear path to walk along. Right now the brush is so thick I cannot see the hand in front of my face. Desperate for a win.

Shortly after writing the above paragraph, I decided to rescue Hannah's dresser from certain death! Thus began the adventure of my afternoon!
  
Reserved a Zipcar, drove up to Hannah's, with the help of Gwen & Hannah (and some man) we got the dresser to the car only to discover that the Honda CR-V had too narrow and opening in the back to accommodate the top of the dresser! AHHH!!!

After a failed attempt with some twine, we purchased a bit of rope from Duane Reade. Tied the crap out of the door to secure it and off we went. Every bump caused me serious anxiety to the point of yelling basically the whole way across the Queensboro Bridge as Gwen was laughing beside me! It was pretty hilarious!

We unloaded and bought a burger as a reward! Moving is NEVER easy, even if it's one piece! From start to finish, it took me 4 hours!

I had a tiny bit of time to relax then my new roomie, Brian, came & now I have a cat! I'm quite excited for this new life in the home! He's already snuggly at the foot of my bed (after puking all over the apt from anxiety). We'll be fine :)