Pamelia Wheeler Spell

My dear, sweet Grandmother was the epitome of Southern gentility with a generous helping of playfulness and a heaping dose of humility, topped off with a kind smile that comes from the heart. And like every woman born in the South, she could cook with the best of them, but her favorite was dessert. No meal was complete without dessert. Many times I foolishly ate too much of the insisted second or third helpings of a meal, only to be greeted with a bowl of ice cream and a cookie or two for the finale!

An April baby, like myself, she bounced around in the early years, but settled in Jackson, MS in 1945. There she found 'Jimmy', her high school sweetheart. They would write back and forth while he attended West Point Military Academy and she Sullins College then Univ. of Florida. Luckily, Jimmy was a good writer with excellent penmanship and won her for his bride. He still writes beautifully!

After some time in the Army overseas, they settled in Dallas, TX with their two daughters, Melinda and Melissa. In 1967, a beautiful house became their home and they haven't left. The backyard now displays a beautiful Magnolia tree that provides shade and several branches excellent for climbing, but it was a mere sapling when they first moved in. This house holds so many memories within it's walls from birthday parties, to drill team try-out practice, to first dates, to Christmas with grandkids, to puzzle building, to dress-up, to mac-and-cheese with ham, to CareBears and Go Fish.

On September 19th, 2011 Pamelia Wheeler Spell met her Lord, leaving the place she'd called home for almost 45 years and finding a new home. Her last word heard by her daughter Melissa was "Wow!" I can only imagine what image she must've seen as she left this life. She was a person of deep faith in God and sincere devotion. I will miss her so very much, but I am incredibly grateful for the time I did spend with her and the many memories I will continue to cherish!

9/11

Ten years ago, I found myself in the weight room completing a morning work-out class, required for all freshman basketball players. We'd fulfilled the grueling morning conditioning and quietly moved around the empty weight room. In the corner television I caught a glimpse of the World Trade Center with smoke pouring out of the side. One month before, my mother treated me to a vacation to the destination of my choosing for graduation and I chose New York City! One of the few places in this world that lived up to every expectation I'd ever held. I fell completely in love with the City and longed to return.> Now, I sat stunned watching a building I had stood on top of weeks before, on fire. I thought the building was simply on fire. Tragic, yes but nothing close to the reality that literally came crashing in as the second plane hit the South Tower.

Dismissed from the remainder of the morning workout, I ran back to my dorm and down the hall to my newest best friend on campus. I knocked on her door, walked in and clumsily said, "I think we're being attacked..." As a dutiful freshmen, we still went to our morning classes still not quite sure what to think or do. On the overheard projector, our professor was streaming the news as they covered the events unfolding in New York. Excused from class and informed that all classes that day were suspended, a dozen of us watched, motionless and silent as the towers came crashing down. I'll never forget that day and the flashes of faces I saw in August '01 on the top floors of the observation level at the World Trade Center.

Ten years later, here I am. I've returned to the City that cast it's spell a decade ago. A different City than the one I first met. Milestones allow the opportunity to reflect and few things cause New Yorkers to pause or even slow down, but this event honors the spirit of the City I love. It's a place where a stranger will grab one end of a stroller and help a mother carry her child up the subway stairs and at the top give a quick glance of appreciation and continue on their way. An elderly woman stumbles to the ground and in moments surrounded by 4 people offering their hand, setting her in a nearby chair, making sure she is okay and then proceeding to their business meeting or workout class or lunch appointment. A businessman asked for directions will be concise but precise and helpful. New York will come to your aid because we're on top of each other. To ignore is to neglect. I'm not so romantic about this place that I miss the harshness, but I try to find what is underneath it. My profession requires I study and soak up human behavior and essence- New York overflows with humanity of every kind. Often called the melting pot of the world, I am still deeply in love with this City and grateful for the opportunity to call it home.

The Day Before That Day...

Just to quickly follow-up on my last post...
The Agent Night went very well. I'd say 70% enjoyed what I did and I feel a glimmer of hope. There were 10 agents present, 5 in each room. We came in, as our headshots were distributed to those at the table, I found my chair, handed the scene to the reader with me and read the scene. Each agent was given a feedback form, which we received back a few minutes after we exited the room. I was one of the last few people to work in front of them, which could work in my favor or not. They say an agent will know if they are interested in the first 15 seconds you're in front of them. Which is good, cause I hadn't even opened my mouth yet by that point! Now, I'm figuring out the follow-up procedure with these folks! Luckily I have some opportunities to be on stage so I can invite them out!

Also, I had a couple auditions yesterday. One for a web-series, which are becoming increasingly popular! The other was for a student film for NY Film Academy. Both went very well and I really liked each director. Now is the waiting game! The horrible truth is I may never hear from them (which is a rejection...obviously).

Now to the subject of the Title... September 11th is tomorrow! Apparently, NY is under terror watch more so than normal. Both myself and my roommate received calls from our mothers about things up here. I cannot honestly say I've noticed anything different, but maybe that's cause they're being so stealthy! Also, I haven't been in Times Square at all! My roommate works in Times Square so I wished him luck as he left for work this morning! That's kinda the reality up here. Life continues on, despite the threat, the turmoil, the tragedy.

I'm grateful September 11th falls on a Sunday for the 10th anniversary.

Welcome to a new school year!

Even though I've been out of school for a good 5 years now, I still mark my life by the school calendar. Is that normal? Is it just because I like the idea of beginnings, so I get an excuse in September to start something new? I've adopted the European summer where I take at least one month completely off! This year it was August! I wonder how much longer I can keep doing this!

Now that we're almost a week into September, I must declare I am going to focus this blog more on what happens in my acting life with splashes of everyday life from this brain of mine! This is of course assuming I have stuff to write about, but we shall see! This is, after all, the reason I moved to this City from my happy life in Austin, Texas! So here we go!

The week ahead includes, meeting with agents Wednesday night to impress them with my incredible acting ability all in 2 pages of a scene! Yep, that's how much time I get! Can't say we're inefficient here in NYC! Also, I will be assisting with auditions for the Off-Off Broadway company, of which I am a member. Always a learning experience to be on the auditor side. Its really not as scary as we make it! Ugh! And later I will be going in for a web series. This week is actually a good one!

Luckily, its raining in NYC today, so its an indoor day to write and rehearse! Btw, if you haven't read The Help, pick it up and enjoy! My favorite line in the book just happens to be the author's favorite too (I think we could be friends).

"Wasn't that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I'd thought"

Melting...

New York City hit a record 104 on Friday, but the heat index was higher! Now, as a native Texan, I know anyone down south will read that and laugh in a casual, "yeah... and....?" kinda way. I've survived the 30 consecutive-100-degree-days that are becoming a staple for Texas summers, however may I remind you all that you travel from your centrally air-conditioned home to your SUV that may take 5-10 minutes for the AC to kick in, then you get out of your ice-box car and walk into an equally freezing store/gym/restaurant.

In New York City... there is no escape. My poor window unit is cranking out as much cool air as it can, but its a little guy, he can only do so much. As soon as I step out of my room, it hits! I'll shower and immediately start sweating, so I'll rush into my room to air dry. But as soon as I step out into the hallway of my apartment, the heat and humidity are present. Walking down the street provides a slight breeze, but there is the inevitable dissent into the subway. The guts of NYC, which today closely resembles the atmosphere inside a body, probably! Stagnant air so thick its difficult to take a deep breath. The thin layer of sweat already covering your body begins to pool into drops that roll down your back. If you're lucky a train will arrive shortly that is, God-willing, air-conditioned. However, on this particularly hot day, the train air-condition cannot keep up, so its a muggy mess inside the car. A traveling sauna makes its way from 145th St down to lower Manhattan.

Lucky for me I'm only riding til 57th St this day, where I'm transferring to make my way to Brooklyn. I'm working on a film shoot this afternoon. Now anyone who has ever had the pleasure of shooting a film knows that any time the camera is rolling, any noise making device must be turned off so as not to interfere with the sound. This includes AC & fans. So the sweating continues throughout the day! Joy! By 5 pm I have sweated through all of my clothes, but its pointless to return home to shower because of the above paragraph. What do I do? I bob over to H&M and buy a new outfit for $10. I love H&M!

I enjoyed a friend's show that night but immediately after I bid them goodnight and raced home dying for a shower! It's a sweaty business living in NYC in July! Glad I'm vacating for August!

Liberation!!!

Just because I do this often, doesn't make it any easier!

Since moving to New York 3 years ago, I have moved 4 times, held 3 jobs and made $0 in the profession I'm pursuing (acting). And yet, I take another plunge into the unknown fully confident of landing on my feet, because...well... it is New York City!

My most recent job of serving coffee to the rich and occasionally famous clientele of Tribeca ended this past Sunday. After two years in lower Manhattan, I walked away feeling a great sense of relief. I've met so many great folks who are now good friends of mine, shared many stories across the counter and even managed to make some connections in the business and gain some babysitting clients! I do not look forward to having to start paying for my coffee, but I do look forward to not having to work for tips! Yes, I am determined to never return to the restaurant business! Despite its immediate and lucrative return, it makes me jaded toward people, as a whole. Not good. So I leave it behind!

Coincidentally (I don't actually believe in coincidence), my final weekend at work fell on opening weekend for a show in which I'm performing. It's called Dear Brutus written by JM Barrie (author of Peter Pan). A delightful ensemble piece where I get to work with such fun actors. The past month of rehearsing til late in the night, then having to wake up for work, has been incredibly draining, but the hard work has paid off for our run. Such a joy to perform and play on stage! It's actually the perfect transition. Moving from what I had to do to what I love to do! Soon I'll get paid for it, so I can just love my work all the time! I know, I know-- I'm a dreamer!

(heavy sigh)

Warning: This one is not so cheery, but its honest.

Wednesday could possibly be the worst day in recent memory. I was repeatedly bashed over the head with the reality that no matter what, I cannot do everything I really want to do and subsequently I let people down, I disappoint. I don't mean this to sound in any way arrogant and that I'm so popular I couldn't possibly accept all invitations. NO! I mean the simplest thing, I feel like there are just not enough express trains to get me to everything and I certainly can't afford cabs. I'm not so in love with NYC at this moment.

Wednesday morning, I rose to the humidity trying to slowly begin my glorious day off. However, immediately (and foolishly) I checked my email on my phone and boom 2 hours later my quiet morning is gone. Apparently I had a lot of emailing to do, castings to submit to and things to mail out! Now I'm rushing off to catch a noon yoga class, but because I've only ever been to this studio once (I visit every studio in Manhattan to do their intro special, then never go back- I'm a creative poor person) So I'm running into the class. Having only spared enough time for a banana all morning, my blood sugars is a little low. Needless to say, this was not an easy class.

Upon departing the yoga studio, still sweating from the humidity- and to be perfectly honest, I'm a sweater- I rush off to UCB for my improv class. Now I'm not sure at all how I managed to be a tiny bit late to this class but I was. The magic of navigating an unfamiliar part of Manhattan! Class was fun, but it was one of those "learning" days for me... in other words I didn't feel funny at ALL, which is rough when you're doing improv. Ah, well, shake it off, right? This is where the day really takes a turn for the worse.

Now in my "yes" mentality of life, I have double-booked myself. I'm supposed to have dinner with my dear friends in Brooklyn AND attend an art show with portraits inspired by a theater piece I co-wrote and performed a year ago. I thought maybe if I rush out to Brooklyn for cocktails then I can be back for the show, OH AND I got an email to be a reader for screenplay from a splendid actress from a theater group I've started meeting with! So I'm rushing to the wine shop to grab a bottle to... I dunno... FLY to Brooklyn so I can be back by 7 to Chelsea then midtown by 8. Ambitious, I know. Everything came to a screeching halt when I realized, in my haste to leave UCB after class, I left my sweatshirt with my house keys in the pocket. ________ insert your expletive of choice!

There goes Brooklyn, but maybe I can make the art show. I call my friends in Brooklyn and say maybe I can meet up with them after the reading, if they're still out. This seems to appease them... phew! I then rush back up to UCB only to find my sweatshirt was kindly picked up by one of my fellow classmates. Thoughtful, yes. Helpful, no. Through the wonder of mass emailing, I found out my sweatshirt was safe and sound on the Upper East Side (I live in West Harlem) BUT on the bright side, its with someone.

I rush over to the show and literally walk in, find my gorgeous photographer friend, 'ooooh and ahhhh' at the photographs, kiss her cheek and walk out the door. I had to rush over to East 43rd for the screenplay reading. This part was actually the lone bright spot of the entire day. I just have to pause and give reverence to the part of my day that I loved. We read on top of a 10 story building right by the United Nations overlooking the East River. Despite the dark nature of the screenplay, it was perfect. We had a discussion afterward about the script, which pushed my departure time back to 11 p.m. Still having to go retrieve my sweatshirt from the East 80's, I lamely texted my Brooklyn darlings with my regrets- to which I got no reply, not a good sign.

My dear roommate accompanied me to the sweatshirt safehouse and we decided to venture on a bus for a ride home. Good in theory and maybe at that hour it truly was the fastest way home, but it took us an hour to go from E 86th st to W 140th st. Sheesh!

The only time I felt fully present and not frustratedly out of sorts was on that rooftop, reading a screenplay... is that indicative of something, do you think?